Consumer representatives also sit on HARC’s Board of Directors. This is a dramatic change from the belief, over the years, that people with mental retardation don’t have the ability to make decisions for themselves, let alone the right decisions.

According to Dr. Kirk Johnson, Clinical Director of HARC’s Behavioral Health Clinic, wisdom is very hard to describe but identifiable when we encounter it. "I know that I am in the presence of wisdom when I experience an individual as having confronted a difficult aspect of life, opened to it, and through their words and actions, indicated they are not defeated by it," said Dr. Johnson. "Wisdom means attaching the right amount of weight to the variables in one’s life. Not getting too burdened by this or that. Being able to say this is of value and that is not. It’s a combination of past learning and innate abilities," he said.

Examples of wisdom he’s experienced among his clients include seeing them be able to accept and allow for dependency and placing priority on relationships. This type of wisdom, he says, doesn’t always come in the manner we have come to expect.

"We tend to expect that someone who is wise will in some fashion try to share it. So we may think of wisdom as a tool or product that is marketed through lectures, retreats, or books. It is an acquisition that we then try to have and make ours," said Dr. Johnson

"People need to be reminded to look for the similarities and shared human qualities in those who are different from themselves. Whether that difference is one of race, ethnicity, religion, physical impairment, psychiatric illness or mental retardation, it is far too easy and convenient to simply say ‘they are not like me.’ If we look for the overlaps, the ‘I see myself in you’ opportunities, we will be enriched," said Dr. Johnson.

When Charless Whitham, a Family Support Coordinator and Respite Care Program staff person, was charged with the task of taking Albert to a conference in Washington, D.C., she didn’t know what she was getting into. Albert is part of a national program known as Best Buddies.

"I’m not very good with trains. Albert and I devised a system where I would lead the way to the station and he would help by checking the paper (train schedule) and the track (number). On our return trip our train broke down. We had to get off in Baltimore. Albert doesn’t move fast because he has trouble with visual perception and we missed our next train. We were tired and hungry. Finally after about two hours I started to cry. Albert patted me on the back and said ‘Check the paper and the track. Check the paper and the track. Don’t worry, we’ll find our way.’ And we did," said Whitham.

"The people we work with possess a wonderful exuberance of life," said Whitham.

She and Albert also teach a class to future teachers at Central Connecticut State University twice a year. Whenever the professor asks Albert what the soon-to-be teachers should remember most about working with people with mental retardation, he says: "Remember that we are people and not numbers. We have a lot to say. Please listen to us."

Arlene Smith, Family Support Coordinator and ten year veteran at HARC, remembers her earlier days when she worked with Paul as his Job Coach. She worked closely with Paul to find an appropriate job that would match his skills. During times such as these when they would spend some time together, Paul would quiz her about current events. Smith said he watched CNN constantly and always wanted to know for whom she was going to vote.

"One day, after a particularly successful session at a local kitchen job site, Paul turned to me and told me he was bored. He said he was tired of being in a kitchen and instead wanted to be in an office area where he could meet other people and get their ideas on world affairs," said Smith, laughing at the thought again. "I am so glad we had the kind of relationship that enabled him to speak up. I would never have known what he really wanted."

For a lot of people, the creative process is difficult and intimidating. Diana Minisci Appleton, Coordinator of Public Education and instructor of the ArtSparks Group, knows all too well. The ArtSparks Group is a recreational art program within the Life Enrichment Program for HARC’s senior citizens.

When preparing for their first gallery exhibit, Appleton said, all of the people in the group were very excited about showing their work out in the community. "For the people in this group, the creative process seems to be less intimidating than for many. They just go with it and see what happens. They all enjoy painting and feel a real sense of accomplishment in creating their work. They don’t seem to have many preconceived ideas about what it ‘should look like’ when they’re finished."

"When the show was coming up, we were all talking about the excitement of having people see our work. Ernie was the only one who was rather quiet about it. When I asked him what he liked best about being in the exhibit, he responded, ‘I just like to make things. It feels good.’ I thought at that moment, what a very basic idea he had just expressed. But, simple as his statement seemed, he had really hit on the crux of what it is to be an artist," said Appleton.

Joyce Peters, HARC’s Director of Programs and Services recalls with a chuckle, how Mary, a support clerk at HARC’s employment site at the law firm of Robinson & Cole, showed her concern for the visitors from Kuwait who were being given a tour of that site. Mary had been seeing and hearing quite a bit about Saddam Hussein during the Gulf War.

After the introductions had been made, Mary asked the visitors if they were safe from "that man" she had seen on TV. She went on to say that the visitors could come and live with her and her cat, Fluffy, because they would be safe at her apartment.

Mary’s insight into an international crisis had been translated into a personal concern for the well-being of her guests.

For Beatrice and Albert keeping in contact by phone was a way of survival. Physically, each one was quite capable of caring for themselves. Socially, however, they relied on one another’s concern and good will to feel like a part of a friendship that had somehow evolved while they were participants in the Life Enrichment Program.

Together the two had come up with a system to check in on one another in their independent housing situations. If the line was busy for some time, or the other one could not be reached at all, each would call into the agency and contact a staff member to report the concern, and be sure someone looked into the situation.

"No one had facilitated the relationship," said Kandyce Aust, HARC’s Director of Public Relations and Development. "The irony is it was between two people who appeared dispassionate on the exterior, but demonstrated a deep level of caring for each other’s well being."

This type of wisdom is especially comforting to staff because of the clients’ unique ability to possess such good sense and sound judgment in a situation that could potentially be life-threatening. Beatrice and Albert had a keen ability to know when to help each other and utilize their resources.

For Kandyce, the wisdom people with mental retardation share is one of a kind. "I think their wisdom is pure because they don’t have false yard sticks. For example, what kind of car you drive just isn’t important," she says.

Kandyce was also touched by Willis as he gave a tour to volunteers participating in United Way’s Day of Caring. Typically the day is reserved for employee volunteers who spend the day at a nonprofit agency to lend a hand with a project. While showing some individuals around his group home, Willis came across a bulletin board with photos of three close friends who had recently passed away. He explained that these were his friends and that they were in heaven together. "One, he said, was playing the harmonica up there like he used to for us here at home," said Kandyce. "These eight people in the tour group were just mesmerized with what he had to say."

Most of us would have continued past the photo display, embarrassed or uncomfortable to acknowledge the hurt to complete strangers in losing special friends. Not Willis. He shared that bit of wisdom to enrich not only their lives, but to enrich his own.

"I think if more people listened with an open mind, and an open heart, we’d recognize this life wisdom more often. Sometimes I feel selfish working with so many amazing people, because I feel like I gain so much more from the clients than I could ever give," said Kandyce.

All of us feel good when we give. Perhaps the more valuable gift, is to allow ourselves to receive.

The reward, as illustrated in the numerous heart-warming tales above, is clearly tenfold. Some of life’s truest words of wisdom can be found right here at HARC. And they are taught by qualified individuals - by our dearest friends.